Introduction
Hi, I’m Max—High Performance Coach.
Framing is one of the most powerful tools a leader can use in conversations. It sets the stage, particularly in the opening moments, where you create a framework that guides the dialogue. Think of it as ‘going meta’—a conversation about the conversation to come. When you master framing, it ensures clarity, shared understanding, and greater depth, allowing conversations to become more meaningful and productive.
Today’s reading will go through three key components that will help you frame one-on-one conversations effectively.
Of course, you can adapt these based on the context, but this template is a great starting point for fostering powerful dialogue.
1) The Outcome of the Conversation
Every one-on-one conversation should begin with a clear purpose. Ask yourself and the other person, “Why are we having this conversation?” Defining the outcome gives both parties a sense of direction, a goal to aim for together. Without this clarity, conversations can meander or drift into unrelated topics, losing focus.
To ensure alignment, ask, “Does this outcome sound right to you?” or “Is there anything else we should address?” This process of shared agreement deepens the connection, setting a collaborative tone that allows both participants to feel invested in where the conversation is headed. It’s not just about efficiency—it’s about crafting a conversation that serves both of you.
2) Lay Out the Challenge
In a one-on-one setting, particularly when discussing sensitive issues, laying out the challenge clearly but delicately is key. This is where framing helps depersonalize the issue. Rather than saying, “This is what you did wrong,” you can frame it as, “Here’s a challenge I think we’re both facing” or “Here’s where our perspectives might differ.” By shifting the challenge away from the person and onto a shared concern, you remove defensiveness and create space for an open, problem-solving dialogue.
In personal conversations or feedback, this framing helps both people approach the issue together rather than feeling like adversaries. For example, ask, “Is this how you see the challenge as well?” or “Is there something I might be missing?” This opens the floor for the other person to share their view without feeling cornered. It’s an invitation to explore the issue together, promoting a more constructive exchange.
3) How Can We Approach This?
Once the challenge is framed, the conversation begins. At this stage, it’s crucial to create an open space for solutions and ideas to emerge. If you’re in a leadership role, remember the importance of speaking last. By letting the other person fully express their thoughts and ideas first, you not only give them the opportunity to explore their own perspective, but you also avoid influencing their thinking with your own opinions.
This approach fosters trust, innovation, and honest expression. Ask, “How do you think we can approach this?” or “What solutions feel right to you?” By doing this, you show that their perspective matters, empowering them to contribute meaningfully. Only after they’ve spoken should you offer your own thoughts, enriching the conversation with a sense of shared ownership in whatever solution or path forward is chosen.
Conclusion
Conversational framing is a powerful tool in one-on-one conversations, applicable in a variety of contexts—from feedback and problem-solving to deeper, personal discussions. Mastery of conversation is mastery of outcomes. Conversations shape commitments, and commitments shape results. Practicing these framing techniques will not only elevate the quality of your conversations but also foster a greater sense of connection and understanding with those you engage with.
If you’d like to deepen your conversational skills as a leader, reach out to me for a conversation here.
Max. High Performance Coach.
