Hi, I’m Max, a professional Neuro-Linguistic Programming Coach.
Procrastination is like a silent assassin. And with the constant bombardment of distractions, it has never been more powerful. In today’s reading we will develop a deeper understanding of what procrastination is, what is its root cause, and how to overcome it. Much of today’s reading will lean on my private coaching practice, and the most common patterns that I have noticed amongst clients.
Let’s begin with this question.
What Is Procrastination?
From all my personal research in working with my clients overcome this issue, I define procrastination as the avoidance of tasks that are ultimately to our benefit to complete. It’s quite strange don’t you think? We avoid tasks that if we were to complete would benefit us. Nevertheless, let’s look a little bit deeper, what is procrastination REALLY? At its core, it’s a pattern of behaviour. That’s it. And it isn’t much more complicated than that really. It’s a behavioural pattern of actions that is caused by a cognitive pattern of thoughts. If you are reading this, and procrastination has been a challenge of yours – take a deep breath and follow me here.
Picture the last time you procrastinated, and follow the pattern of behaviour. Get some distance from the behavioural and observe this as objectively as possible. You know that you have a task that needs completing, track the behavioural pattern, and write this down! Below is an example of what I mean.
THE TASK THAT NEEDS COMPLETING: Review a work document, prepare notes accordingly and send back to my supervisor in the next 3 days.
- I remember that I need to review the work document.
- I think to myself that “I should do that.”
- I then open phone and begin going through social media.
- I then remember the task that needs completing while I am in the middle of scrolling social media.
- I put my phone down and open my laptop to begin reviewing the work document.
- I then begin making a cup of tea.
- While making a cup of tea, I remember something else that I need to do which is more exciting than reviewing the work document.
- I then start completing the more exciting task.
- Once that task is completed, I then remember that I need to review my work document.
- And the cycle repeats.
ACTUALLY TRACK WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR EXPERIENCE.
Now that we have awareness over the pattern, let’s get to the real meat of this blog post begins.
Understanding and uprooting the real cause of my procrastination. And how to overcome it.
Below are the three most common causes that I have encountered in my time of working with clients AND their solutions! I can almost guarantee one of these will resonate with you.
Cause Number One – We Don’t Connect Any Value To Completing The Task.
As we have discussed in other posts, human beings are meaning making machines.
And by far the most common cause of procrastination is that we see the task ahead of us as boring, pointless, stupid, drudgerous, basically a pain in the ass. And by assigning such an unengaging meaning to the task, distracting ourselves becomes almost irresistible. Think of a task that you’re currently procrastinating, and ask yourself, how exciting does this task seem to me? I can almost guarantee that you are currently seeing almost no value in completing the task whatsoever, other than that you wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. So the question becomes, how do we assign a more engaging meaning to tasks which we currently find meaningless?
The good news is, all the power is with you, by attaching a more engaging meaning to the task, we will find ourselves actually wanting to complete it, without seeing it as painful or difficult. Let me ask you this question, what does it say about someone who is able to complete tasks that are challenging? What does it say about someone who can overcome adversity, no matter how small? What would it do for your relationship with yourself if you were able to hold firm to what you know would be beneficial to do? What if this small thing like reading a report for work, taking the garbage out, going to the gym, cleaning the house, whatever it is, was actually a small invitation for you to grow? Would you like to accept that invitation?
Human beings are meaning making machines – never forget that.
Cause Number Two – Perfectionism
Perfectionism is another silent assassin that we have discussed elsewhere in our Breaking Free Of The Perfectionism Trap post. Perfectionism is a self destructive tendency that masquerades as “high standards” – rubbish. Perfectionism can stop us from ever making significant progress because it induces fear from even taking the first step. If perfectionism has ever been a challenge for you, the first thing to understand is that by never starting a task in the first place, you’re further away from perfect than ever. And being a perfectionist usually means that one’s self worth is tied up in achievement. And this creates neurotic standards that ultimately fuel either paralysis or disappointment.
To solve the perfectionistic paralysis, there is a key insight that must be grasped – the path to perfection is filled with mistakes. Mistakes are actually the mechanism by which perfection is achieved. So, a new meaning must be assigned to so-called “mistakes”. Again, what if the process of making mistakes was actually a good thing? And every mistake that got made was a step closer to perfectionism?
If perfectionism has been a struggle of yours, I’d invite you to memorise this quote:
“Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No Matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better.”
Cause Number Three – The Task Seems Too Large & Overwhelming
This is especially true when tasks are of some magnitude, such as writing a novel, starting a business, renovating one’s home or learning a new language. And the common pattern amongst these tasks is that the way one thinks about these tasks goes something like this: “I should start writing my novel”, “I should start my business”, “I should begin learning Spanish”, and from all the evidence I’ve gathered from working with clients over the years, this cognitive pattern is particularly unhelpful.
Clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson talks about the concept of “aiming up”, meaning that it doesn’t matter how small a step you take, as long as a step is taken. And this concept I completely agree with. Take whatever your large goal is, and take the smallest step possible towards it, and you will be amazed how quickly you can gather momentum. As an example, if your task is to transition from your career into your own business, can you muster yourself to watch one youtube video about your new field? Can you muster yourself to send one text asking for guidance on once facet of your new business idea? Can you muster yourself to journal three different questions that you need answers to regarding your business idea?
It’s simply a matter of taking a single step. And small steps added up over a period of days, weeks, months, years and ultimately decades lead to our most remarkable achievements.
One step today, no matter how small. That is the way.
Let’s review from today:
Firstly, identify the pattern of behaviour. See it in all its detail, like you were studying somebody else.
Secondly, identify the source. What’s really causing this?
Finally, create a new meaning. Understand this is an opportunity to grow.
If any of this resonated with you today, I’d invite you to have a 30 minute complimentary conversation with me here.
Max. NLP Coach.
