Introduction:
Hi, I’m Max, a Life Coach.
Today’s reading tackles an interesting topic. Life coaches aren’t in the business of giving direct advice—well, at least quality coaches aren’t. They’re in the business of asking powerful questions. But how do you, as the client, get the most out of the coaching relationship? Today’s reading will cover a key skill that you as the client can develop – asking the coach questions. By asking powerful, probing questions, you can tap into deeper insights and even “hack” the conversation to find some hidden gems. Something crucial to consider – this may actually involve cornering your coach in some ways to answer these as they will likely say “I’m more interested in what you think” – and they will do this for good reasons, but stay on topic and challenge them, you may find you’ll pluck out some nuggets of gold.
Here are five questions to ask your life coach and why they work:
1) Where Have You Seen Other Clients with a Similar Challenge Get Stuck?
Why It Works: This is a brilliant question because it taps into the coach’s experience. Here’s the thing about human beings, we don’t have an infinite number of challenges, we have probably the same 20 challenges that we all face, so have no doubt that if you’re working with a quality coach, they’ve seen your challenge before in other clients. They’ve likely seen similar situations before and can offer insights into common pitfalls. You’re not looking for direct advice here, but rather a sense of where others have faced challenges like yours.
2) What Is Something About This Challenge That I Haven’t Considered?
Why It Works: One of the most valuable things a coach can do is help you see things from angles you hadn’t thought of. By asking this question, you invite your coach to point out perspectives, ideas, or considerations you may be missing. We all hold a perspective, and hearing a second perspective around things can shine light on our blind spots.
3) What Would You Do in My Position? (Dangerous One)
Why It Works: This is a risky but powerful question. While coaches are there to facilitate your growth rather than tell you what to do, asking for their perspective can still yield valuable insights. The reason this can be a risky question is because your coach’s personal biases will become obvious. Remember that your coach isn’t an authority in the relationship, but this question can be useful as the answer will be informed by their understanding of human behavior. Again, it’s crucial that you have a high quality coach in asking this question.
4) Am I Even Trying to Answer the Right Question?
Why It Works: Okay – here’s where your coach’s skills will get tested. If they are a quality coach, they will be able point out something critical here. Let me put it to you like this – if you are seeing a coach, it’s probably because you want different results in life. Results are driven by behaviour. So the question becomes – what drives your behaviour? In my work, the challenges that we have in life are symptoms of how we think – and notice that the problem you’re facing is unique in your life. So that tells me as a coach something about your psychology. And if you have a high quality coach, you’ll really start to get under the surface with this question. If your coach hand waves this question, in my view, they aren’t a high quality coach.
5) How Have Other Clients Facing a Similar Challenge Overcome This?
Why It Works: Similar to the first question, this one taps into the coach’s experience. You’re asking for examples of what has worked for others in similar situations. These examples might give you practical insights or strategies to consider, but again, the focus is on learning from patterns rather than looking for a direct solution. Again you’re not asking for advice, but if you can seek common patterns, it may provide a pathway forward that you wouldn’t have otherwise found.
Conclusion:
Take these questions as conversation starters—rabbit holes to explore in your sessions. They allow you to detect patterns, gain insights, and open up new possibilities in your growth process. Coaching isn’t about being told what to do—it’s about expanding your thinking, and these questions are designed to help you do just that.
Remember, you as the client need your value, don’t let you coach hand wave these.
If you’d like some deeper insights about this, let’s have a conversation here.
Max
Life Coach.
