Introduction
Hi, I’m Max – Personal Development Strategist.
Ambition is often celebrated, and rightly so.
I’ve been fortunate to work with some of the most driven, accomplished people in the country. From billion dollar fund managers, higher ups in local government, Harvard University graduates, they all have this ambitious trait within them. Ambition can fuel incredible achievements, but it’s important to recognize that, like every strength, ambition carries a shadow. Just as I’ve written about in my Downsides of Your Leadership Style article, every personality trait and approach in life has its excesses.
In today’s reading, we’re going to explore three common shadow elements that tend to manifest in highly ambitious individuals.
Please note – these aren’t reasons to abandon your ambition but rather invitations to be aware of the pitfalls so that you can navigate them with more wisdom.
1) A Lack of Epistemic Humility
Ambitious people often subscribe to the idea that you should “only listen to people who are at the level you want to be.”There is some wisdom in this, especially for those who are laser-focused on a specific goal. But there’s a dangerous flip side to this: a lack of epistemic humility—the understanding that you don’t know everything and that there is wisdom in others, even if they aren’t in the same realm of success as you.
I’ve noticed with many of my highly successful clients that there is an unspoken belief that their success in one area of life grants them insight into other areas. But “success,” whatever that means, is highly context-dependent. Just because someone has achieved remarkable things in business doesn’t mean they have the same level of understanding in relationships, health, or spirituality. The tunnel vision that drives ambition can easily lead to arrogance, and this arrogance blinds them to the lessons that can come from unexpected places. Please note that when I use this word arrogance, I mean it very technically – the definition of arrogance is ‘overbearing confidence’, and that’s exactly what I mean in this context. If you’re ambitious, recognize that everyone has something to teach you, even if it’s a warning of what not to do. Wisdom can be found everywhere—if you are willing to look for it. And I would challenge you ambitious high performer types that if you’re not willing to look in the name of ‘if they don’t have what you want, then don’t listen to what they say’ sort of rhetoric, this is actually a sign of weakness, not strength.
2) Missing the Magic of Experience Due to Impatience
Ambitious people are often in a hurry. They have something to prove, and they want to prove it now. This sense of urgency can be incredibly useful in driving achievement, but there’s a hidden cost: they often miss the magic of the moment.
In their rush to achieve, many high performers lose sight of the reason they pursue these goals in the first place. They aren’t truly seeking the accolades or material success, although they may not have the capacity to admit this—they’re seeking a sense of wholeness. Yet, their impatience leads them to bypass the present moment, constantly pushing forward in search of the next win. This is the essence of the tragic high performer—the one who achieves much but misses the the one thing that they are actually seeking: fulfillment.
To move quickly through life, as I’ve written before, is to miss the point. The journey itself holds the richness of life, not the finish line. For the ambitious, learning to balance their drive with an appreciation for the present can be the balance they often need. Happiness is not something that can be found or achieved, it can only be recognised through being truly present.
3) Suffering from Extrinsic Motivation
Another common shadow of ambition is a deep reliance on extrinsic motivation. While ambitious people may appear passionate about their work, what they’re often really passionate about is getting “there”—wherever there is. This laser-like focus on the end goal can create blind spots, leading them to spend enormous amounts of time on things they don’t genuinely enjoy, simply to reach the finish line.
The problem is that when they do finally arrive, they often realize that the achievement wasn’t as fulfilling as they expected. In the process, their relationships, health, and emotional well-being may have suffered. I’ve seen countless high achievers who, after years of pursuing success, find themselves burned out, disconnected from their families, or struggling with health issues. The cure for this as I’ve also written about before is shifting from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation: the things that you love to do, just for doing them.
Conclusion
If you describe yourself as highly ambitious, today’s reading isn’t a call to rein in your ambition, nor is it a prediction of inevitable suffering. Instead, it’s a reminder to watch out for the excesses that can come with ambition’s shadow.
Take a moment to reflect: Where might these shadows be showing up in your life? Or, where do you predict that they may in the future?
If today’s reading resonated with you, reach out to me for a conversation here.
Max. High Performance Coach.
